One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Screwed.edu
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
