he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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