Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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