his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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