On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
