just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo