Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Can we have unprotected sex soon?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner

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  (270): Can we have unprotected sex soon? (270): Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner http://tfl.nu/5s3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1670) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Um, that's called prostitution

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

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  (917): Um, that's called prostitution (773): Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money http://tfl.nu/jjue
  Replies (4) Good night (2729) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant

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  (425): be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/mya3
  Replies (36) Good night (845) Bad night (4766)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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  (252): U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry http://tfl.nu/sko0
  Replies (41) Good night (3936) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No promises.

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  (773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw
  Replies (33) Good night (5564) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.

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  (515): The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle. http://tfl.nu/73sv
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (2157)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time

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  (216): i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time http://tfl.nu/lu1w
  Replies (1) Good night (2264) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?

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  (678): Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up? http://tfl.nu/320o
  Replies (10) Good night (2845) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.

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  (801): He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/2uzh
  Replies (7) Good night (452) Bad night (1328)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

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  (706): I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina http://tfl.nu/j6ze
  Replies (12) Good night (2275) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.

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  (515): Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind. http://tfl.nu/1wyd
  Replies (9) Good night (1707) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.

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  (513): And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings. http://tfl.nu/38vk
  Replies (7) Good night (1256) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.

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  (480): Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them. http://tfl.nu/xfpb
  Replies (6) Good night (268) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.

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  (860): My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude. http://tfl.nu/4dzv
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas

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  (808): I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas http://tfl.nu/8d4j
  Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (636)

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