Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows