someone threw a dead crab at me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens