Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.

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  (519): Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven. http://tfl.nu/t5a6
  Replies (52) Good night (929) Bad night (4339)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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  (912): Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up. http://tfl.nu/ccc0
  Replies (4) Good night (4286) Bad night (820)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.

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  (207): just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries. http://tfl.nu/mz24
  Replies (3) Good night (3809) Bad night (758)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?

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  (580): I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight? http://tfl.nu/jndw
  Replies (1) Good night (2282) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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  (937): Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower? http://tfl.nu/53j7
  Replies (4) Good night (1615) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

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  (812): I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed. http://tfl.nu/eaqv
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless

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  (775): He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless http://tfl.nu/uuhp
  Replies (19) Good night (4047) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...

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  (540): He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward... http://tfl.nu/zj5d
  Replies (17) Good night (697) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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  (314): He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl (201): I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl http://tfl.nu/d4hf
  Replies (4) Good night (1278) Bad night (462)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land

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  (812): I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land http://tfl.nu/d4a5
  Replies (10) Good night (1295) Bad night (377)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.

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  (206): The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter. http://tfl.nu/rlxt
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.

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  (615): Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of. http://tfl.nu/7ejc
  Replies (2) Good night (324) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.

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  (250): all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot. http://tfl.nu/zlsh
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.

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  (602): We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening. http://tfl.nu/4cd0
  Replies (9) Good night (910) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

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  (774): We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole" http://tfl.nu/4a1v
  Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (253)

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