Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

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  (815): the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest? http://tfl.nu/605y
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (1228)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.

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  (201): i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness. http://tfl.nu/zg7h
  Replies (5) Good night (1240) Bad night (636)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  details please.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."

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  (317): dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life. (1-317): details please. (317): they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first." http://tfl.nu/d384
  Replies (61) Good night (5461) Bad night (645)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  That's science, my friend. Boner science.

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  (937): That's science, my friend. Boner science. http://tfl.nu/d39q
  Replies (7) Good night (3203) Bad night (1119)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.

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  (508): True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college. http://tfl.nu/95qw
  Replies (50) Good night (884) Bad night (3275)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you

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  (217): Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you http://tfl.nu/bix8
  Replies (9) Good night (1344) Bad night (952)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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  (352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv
  Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (551)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.

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  (631): Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition. http://tfl.nu/xj5o
  Replies (3) Good night (1630) Bad night (595)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...

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  (503): Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat... http://tfl.nu/b2lc
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (1217)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it

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  (267): I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it http://tfl.nu/ro1j
  Replies (0) Good night (478) Bad night (348)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.

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  (720): FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck. http://tfl.nu/h6sm
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (331)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.

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  (360): Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void. http://tfl.nu/6brj
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (545)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)

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  (254): We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :) http://tfl.nu/s9j9
  Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (375)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.

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  (708): Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor. http://tfl.nu/ltxj
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (250)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.

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  (+44): You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits. http://tfl.nu/p5t9
  Replies (0) Good night (867) Bad night (214)

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