I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?