Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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(323): View more from California

Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism

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(205): View more from Alabama

During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.

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(253): View more from Washington

Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about

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(623): View more from Arizona

Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie

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(812): View more from Indiana

Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.

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