she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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