Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  I wanna passion pit in your ass

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  (386): I wanna passion pit in your ass http://tfl.nu/pjsj
  Replies (27) Good night (750) Bad night (1817)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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  (425): You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left. http://tfl.nu/zkuy
  Replies (20) Good night (1638) Bad night (5766)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.

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  (208): She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible. http://tfl.nu/a9zl
  Replies (41) Good night (962) Bad night (9329)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me

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  (970): I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me http://tfl.nu/ieav
  Replies (10) Good night (5043) Bad night (900)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.

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  (270): My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/nzx6
  Replies (15) Good night (5031) Bad night (1094)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.

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  (920): That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake. http://tfl.nu/1ph6
  Replies (6) Good night (1009) Bad night (2260)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.

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  (618): I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help. http://tfl.nu/o577
  Replies (6) Good night (871) Bad night (1810)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.

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  (903): So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/z5my
  Replies (18) Good night (1945) Bad night (937)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen

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  (734): i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen http://tfl.nu/gv17
  Replies (12) Good night (1629) Bad night (745)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

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  (734): He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point. http://tfl.nu/zkwk
  Replies (4) Good night (1402) Bad night (653)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes

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  (315): I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes http://tfl.nu/99as
  Replies (5) Good night (1824) Bad night (586)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You are a booty call, not a friend.

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  (314): You are a booty call, not a friend. http://tfl.nu/bgd1
  Replies (9) Good night (1564) Bad night (1518)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.

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  (905): Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward. http://tfl.nu/zy4k
  Replies (6) Good night (1748) Bad night (459)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.

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  (817): I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night. (512): Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there. http://tfl.nu/r01e
  Replies (4) Good night (2084) Bad night (484)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  I AM VODKA MAN

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  (936): I AM VODKA MAN http://tfl.nu/r5if
  Replies (5) Good night (750) Bad night (378)

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