Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i think im in europe. pls send help
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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