Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
They are going to name an STD after you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
