i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
