hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
