just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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