he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
do nipples grow back?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
