my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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