he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
