He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
