You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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