Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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