whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
