Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
