i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude i'm inner monologue high
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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