Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
