no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
