Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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