I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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