so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
