Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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