Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
