Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
