dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
