Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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