i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize