ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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