i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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