OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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