I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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