moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
