i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
