I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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