you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize