Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
