did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
