Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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