How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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