how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
