I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
