real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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