Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize