I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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