Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
