Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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