i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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