so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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