I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
