THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
