I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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