I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Randomize
