he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
