uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
