It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Never underestimate the power of titties
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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