I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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