he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
