How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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