This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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