Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize