I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
