There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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