I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
