Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
home. puking in laundry basket.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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